The fact that I'm a Tory who hasn't worked at a university - at least, not since I taught at Cambridge in 1990 - doesn't disqualify me from serving on the board of the OfS.

Teachers complain a lot about how tough their job is. But, you know, the day begins in most schools at nine o'clock, ends at 3.30 P.M. They have six weeks' holiday during the summer, two weeks' holiday at Easter and at Christmas. Yes, they don't just work when they're at school, but even so, compared to a lot of other jobs, it's not that tough.

In my capacity as a board member of the OfS, I hope to be impartial, objective, and fair.

I really like the Observer. I think I’d love to have a column with a broad reach that would enable me to do some proper reporting, but keep it on sort of a humorous level. I’ve always had a very happy experience writing for them.

There’s no reason why you can’t deliver a grammar-school curriculum to an all-ability intake.

In Britain, by contrast, we still think that class plays a part in determining a person’s life chances, so we’re less inclined to celebrate success and less inclined to condemn failure. The upshot is that it’s much easier to be a failure in Britain than it is in America.

I’ve become a professional failure – in order to pay the mortgage I have to remain unemployed. Luckily, a disaster always seems to befall me at exactly the right moment.

The moment I’m perceived to be even a tiny bit successful, my career will go down the pan.

I was once hired to write a column for ‘The Guardian’ and then got fired before I’d submitted my first one. That was unusual. Most newspapers wait until I’ve written at least one piece for them before firing me.

I’ve never been to a shrink. But my parents were very psychologically literate – my father had undergone Freudian analysis – and we often talked about other people in psychological terms, so I picked up a lot of that.